Realities of PA School

PA school is amazing and the community of Physician Assistants and students is even more wonderful. Social media has provided our field with a great platform. It has brought so much light and attention to what a PA is and all that we can do. This has been a positive aspect of social media for us! However, social media is also known for portraying only the "good" aspects of everything in our lives and can often hide the realities of what it means to be a PA student. 

I had a great conversation with @tierney2pac on Instagram about this topic:

"I think that even I'm guilty of this sometimes and I think it's due to the fact that it's so grueling and mentally challenging that you try to make yourself feel better about feeling so emotionally and mentally drained about accomplishing your dream. It's almost as if you feel guilty about being in a constant state of anxiety and even some looming depression when others would kill to be in your shoes. And I see it myself from others also! Before school I followed tons of accounts and I knew it would be hard but I guess I wasn't mentally prepared for the mental grind...its nobodies fault! As I've said, I have a hunch that others probably feel the same. It's much easier to continue to tell yourself that you're thankful for the position you're in (cause you are) than to admit that you feel emotionally/mentally lost sometimes. It's hard for people in a field of study that the goal is to strive for "perfection" to feel as through they are struggling mentally. When in actuality, you're doing the best you can, there's just so much, of course it's draining. It's almost easier to post the good things about it, not even for others, but to remind yourself why you're doing what you're doing."

I hope this post sheds some light on the realities of our career field and the path to make your dream a reality. My hope it that it does not discourage you, but that this opens your eyes to what is ahead and what all this field entails.

      ~~I will note that I am only a student and can not speak for practicing Physician Assistants~~

1. COMMUNITY...WITH MIXED IN LONELINESS  

The PA community is one aspect that sold me in pursuing this career. It is not only amongst fellow Instagramers, but it is also amongst medical companies, students, preceptors, professors, and practicing PAs. This community is dedicated, knowledgable, compassionate, caring, selfless, and so much more. This a community that I am 100% proud to be a part of. 

However, I will make a note that PA school can often feel lonely. Yes, I am surrounded by 25 other students as well as professors every day. However, my loneliness is sometimes due to missing a part of me internally or not feeling that I belong. It may be that I don't fit into the area where I attend school, or I do not have the same hobbies/interests as others, or that I need my me time, or that I feel that studying is my priority over going to dinner during that moment...I am not exactly sure what always causes this feeling and it is something that I am still trying to figure out. This feeling of loneliness can cause you to question if it is all worth it, if you are worth it, if you belong, and if you are going down the right path. I'll definitely admit that I have asked myself all these questions and there have been many tears over it too. This is a topic that Stephen (@pagethepa) has mentioned on Instagram and multiple people have messaged me about. It is more common than you think and very important. It is hard, but you can definitely overcome it. When you feel this way, I encourage you to tell yourself YOU ARE WORTH IT, THIS IS WORTH IT, and YOU WILL MAKE IT. 

To read more on this topic of loneliness I highly recommend heading to @pagethepa on Instagram and checking out this post: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bpk982_BYSK/ 

Pictured Left to Right:
Lara (Founder of Medelita), Aaron (PA-S at MBKU), Tony (PA-C), Anthony (PA-C), Melody (PA-C)

2. PA SCHOOL IS EASY HARD

Unfortunately, the route to becoming a PA is not the easiest route. There is a phrase, "If it were easy, then everyone would do it," that I think describes our field. It is not for everyone. It is rigorous. It is exhausting. It is one of the biggest challenges that you will push yourself through. You spend a lot of time in class and studying. You sacrifice a lot of your social life. Your "youth" will likely not be the same as others on Instagram. However, I believe it is completely worth it in the end. 

Day-to-day schedule: class 8am-3pm, workout (sometimes), study until 10:30-11pm, sleep, wake up around 5:30/6:00am and study before class. Repeat. In my program we have to achieve a 75% on every exam and an 80% in every class to pass the course. If we do not receive an 80% or higher then we are dismissed from the program. Brutal? A little bit. We have to remember that what we are learning impacts our future patients and eventually we will have others lives in our hands.

Reality: messy hair, no make-up, comfy clothes, spread out work space.

3. YOU HAVE NO LIFE...SOMETIMES.

This depends on what you consider having "no life". Does your social life decrease? Yes. You do not have as much time as you are probably used to and you may not always be able to attend all the events that you want to. The typical "youth" you see on Instagram with traveling the world, turning up on a Tuesday night, taking adorable Insta pics with your friends, and shopping like crazy is not necessarily the "youth" that you may experience. First, you are broke and likely can't afford many of these things. Secondly, your time is scarce. I missed seven friends weddings, my best friends bachelorette party and bridal shower, my sisters baby shower, my other sisters bridal shower and the moment she found her wedding dress, and much more in my first year of PA school and it was BRUTAL. I hated missing such important events in my friends and families lives. It was hard and PA school is a lot of sacrifice.

On the other end, YOU CAN HAVE FUN! If you can master time management, then I believe you can master PA school. It is all about balance. I personally love creating weekly study schedules because it allows me to organize my time so I can create time to do the things that I love! During my first year I visited 7 different states (CA, WA, OH, MA, ME, VA, NC), went hiking, went rock climbing, enjoyed the night life in West Virginia, attended weddings, visited friends, and so much more. It is all about TIME MANAGEMENT and prioritizing what things are important to you.

 

4. MENTALLY, IT WILL BE TOUGH.

Lets be frank...PA school just simply sucks sometimes. Your mental state depends on how you adjust to PA school and handle the stress/rigors of it. I mentally struggled a lot during my first semester. I made a huge change traveling from California to West Virginia leaving my family, boyfriend, and best friends on the west coast. I was in a new environment, with new people, adjusting to learning how to obtain a water hose of information spraying at me. It was finals week every week and it hit me like a truck. Change is difficult for me and change is exactly what I was experiencing. There were many times when I had late night phone calls to my family crying because I missed the west coast so much or I was so scared of failing out of my program. I couldn't sleep and I could feel my heart racing through my chest. I had awful back pain due to carrying so much tension and stress. Showers became my "stress relief"....I took like 3-4 a day and it was ridiculous. My mental health became VERY apparent to me and I realized my body was telling me to slow down. 

By the time second semester rolled around, I realized I needed a change. I grew up around animals my whole entire life and I finally convinced myself to adopt a cat. This was probably one of the single best decisions I have ever made in school. Having an animal around has improved my mental state drastically. I also love to diffuse essential oils, work-out, journal on Sunday mornings, and organize facetime dates with the people I love to keep me energized and focused towards my goals. My anxiety has significantly decreased and the more I have recognized that I can truly do this and am worth it, the more confident and comfortable I have felt.  

There are people that breeze by and are mentally A-OK. It is hard to speak about what your experience will be, but just know that if you are struggling then you are not alone and there are a lot of other people struggling to. It is hard, it is exhausting, but you will okay. You learn to adapt to this big change in your life and you realize that you can handle this. I still get home sick, I still have random breakdowns, and I still get nervous before each test, but I always like to say that nerves show you care and that is a great thing.

Want to learn more about my struggle during first semester? Check out my blog post here: https://lifewithmepabre.blogspot.com/2018/06/first-semester-roller-coaster.html. 

Want to read more about how I handled my anxiety? Check out my Instagram post here: https://www.instagram.com/p/Bsbpw5shXrD/

5. YOU WON'T LOVE EVERYTHING YOU LEARN 

I wish I loved everything I learned. Is it interesting? Sure! However, there are some topics that I dreaded more than others and were a little more difficult for me to get through. For example, Heme/Onc was a subject that just did not grasp my interest. However, Cardiology was a class that I always found myself wanting to pay attention in and learn. Everyone is different and everyone has different interests. If you do not like a topic then thats okay! It does not mean that you will not like being a Physician Assistant, it just means you may be more passionate about certain fields than others. Just be prepared that you may not enjoy everything you learn, but that is a part of the journey.

6. IT DOES NOT ALWAYS = LAVISH COFFEE SHOPS/FOOD/BEAUTY/CLOTHES

Do not get me wrong...I LOVE coffee shops; they're my happy place. I love everything about them, and in fact I am sitting in one as I type this blog post. GIMME ALL THE COFFEE. However, we often see the beautiful posts of pretty lattes, a great set-up, and even more gorgeous notes. The reality is that this is not always the case. In West Virginia, it took me all of first semester to find a coffee shop that fit my vibe...and its 15 minutes away. I don't always feel that I have the time to spend driving to and from a coffee shop, the money to spend on a beautiful latte with dairy free milk, or the patience to deal with hearing other peoples conversations while trying to soak in all the information in front of me. As much as I love coffee shops, I frequently study at home. Sometimes, I just want the comfort of my home, access to food, my cat, and some peace and quiet. 

See a common theme? Time and money are precious to me in PA school and many others as well. Most students are on loans and are living penny to penny. However, there are some people that may not be paying for their own schooling and have the luxury of enjoying these things. There is nothing wrong with this! However, I encourage you to not judge everyone off of this basis and try to have an understanding of why others may not be able to include themselves in these activities. 

7. INSTAGRAM LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS GLORIOUS

Posting your life and experiences on Instagram is not always a glorifying experience. You are often times putting your life on public display. There are moments when we have self doubt. Are we putting out content that people enjoy? Are we having an impact on others? Are my pictures aesthetically pleasing enough for people to enjoy? Am I putting enough time into my account? These are questions many of us ask ourselves. Taking pictures for Instagram can be difficult, especially if you don't have someone to take them for you. There are hours of creating, staging, editing, and writing that go into each post. We are all going through a tough time in PA school as it is, so let's do each other a favor and uplift one another on social media instead of trying to beat down other accounts! We are all a community here, so let's enjoy each others experiences together :) 

~~IN CONCLUSION~~

PA school is difficult and will not always be the beautiful and terrific experience we see on Instagram. However, do not let this discourage you from pursuing your dream. Yes, it is difficult but YOU CAN HANDLE IT. It is amazing how much personal growth I have seen by going through these trials. I have seen growth in myself, growth in my relationship, and growth in my studies. These trials will make you a better person, a better co-worker, and a better provider to your future patients and that is something to look forward to and be proud of.